Holding my firstborn for the first time was a moment of pure joy mixed with a little self-doubt. A feeling of fear of whether I would be able to do everything right came up. A journey into the unknown had begun. I soon realised that there were abundant guidance and support available for a child’s physical well-being — nutrition, health, growth, and development. But I found myself wondering: what about the emotional world of the child? How do we nurture a child’s feelings, confidence, inner strength, and sense of self?

Each child is unique, and so is the parenting journey. Even with siblings raised in the same home, each child brings a different temperament, personality, and way of experiencing the world. Parenting is not about following a fixed set of rules, it is about understanding, observing, and responding to the individual child with love, patience, and awareness.

My circle gradually grew with the mothers of my child’s friends. Their experiences, perspectives, and approaches often gave me new insights and showed me possible directions at different moments. I realised that parenting is not a journey we walk alone but we learn from each other by sharing our challenges.

I grew up hearing the phrase, ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child,’ and at the same time, my mother’s gentle reminder stayed with me: ‘A mother is always kind and gentle.’ As a young mother, these two thoughts often left me confused — should parenting be about discipline and correction, or about patience and kindness? With time and experience, I understood that my mother was right. True guidance does not come from fear, it comes from love, understanding, and a gentle approach that helps a child grow.

With each stage of my child’s journey, I discovered areas where I could have responded differently. There were times when I wished I had listened more deeply, avoided unnecessary confrontations, and focused less on my expectations and more on understanding what my child truly needed. My close friends reminded me that we were all doing our best as young, inexperienced mothers, especially with our firstborns. We were learning as we went along, balancing multiple roles and responsibilities, while keeping parenting at the centre of our lives. And yet, we as human beings faltered, learned, and progressed. Perhaps parenting is also a journey of forgiving ourselves and recognising the love that was present through it all.

The journey becomes deeply fulfilling when, one day, we suddenly realise that our child has grown into a friend. The relationship slowly transforms as they begin to share their moments of joy, fears, doubts, and anxieties with us. It is a beautiful reminder that parenting is not only about raising a child, but also about building a bond of trust and companionship.

The familiar conditioning of ‘study hard so that you can stand on your own feet’- a phrase we often repeat as parents gradually takes on a deeper meaning. It is no longer only about achievement, independence or success, it becomes about having the inner strength to face challenges, to share, to care, and to walk through life with empathy and resilience. Perhaps the greatest joy of parenting is witnessing the child transform and evolve into a good human being. For me, parenting is a journey of mutual evolution and the parent discovers within themselves unknown reserves of love, strength, patience and wisdom.