Friends enter our lives in unexpected ways and at different times. There are friends who listen patiently, friends who comfort us in distress, friends who hold up the mirror, friends who partner with us in our goals and friends whose very presence delights our soul. This blog speaks of friendships and its unique role in our lives.
Working up a Friendship
Dr. Anuradha Balaram (Gurugram)
In our younger days, complaining about a common boss, grumbling about dead-lines, gossiping about so and so – all this can weave a friendship that relieves the mind of day-to-day struggles that we all have to endure.
As we mature, colleagues of our age can act as a mirror, reflecting clearly when our face is dirty and can even offer us the much–wanted warm water and soap to cleanse ourselves.
I have made some of my best friends at work – both male and female. Even today, four decades after we first met, we enjoy sharing our trials and our triumphs. We know each other’s follies and can laugh at them. We can discuss family matters with abandon and maintain confidentiality where needed. Give me a work environment and an opportunity to make a friend and I will consider myself blessed.
A Companion for Good Times and Bad
Aman Rana (Gurugram)
25,000 years ago, in the Chauvet cave, a young boy sharpened his spear by rubbing it against a stone. He replaced the worn grip of his atlatl with fresh leather. Full of energy but clouded by anxiety, he paused—and looked into the eyes of his trusting (mystical) companion. Not a single word passed between them, but their eyes glittered. Doubt faded, replaced by confidence. Together, they set out— started their expedition and ended up hunting a big deer, enough for the entire family for a few days. That night, he slept in peace.
Cut to today. A young lady working in an MNC in Gurugram came home, frustrated, after the boss said all her ideas were useless and the project which she was leading was given to her colleague. Now she just needs to follow her orders. The thought of rejection and being trashed, even after putting a lot of effort into the project, was buzzing in her mind. Even after struggling to get out of this vicious circle of negative thoughts, a direct loop from hell, she could not come out. She tried many techniques like watching movies etc., but nothing worked. She tried to sleep but could not. Finally, she went to the patio where she saw her friend lying on his back with legs in the air like he was holding up the sky. She burst into laughter. He came running towards her convulsed with joy. He had killed the buzzing thought. Again, not even a single word was spoken by either of them but both their eyes were glittering. Suddenly happiness had taken the place of sadness and frustration.
You must have guessed who this friend is. For some it is just a dog; for me this friend is the epitome of loyalty and unconditional love.
As human beings, very proud of our achievements, we often think that we are the most civilized and enlightened species on earth, and need not learn anything from other species. However, in this case none of us can deny that we need to learn a lot from this friend what true friendship is and what values are required to sustain it.
Loyalty
This friend never took any oath of allegiance, like the vassals of a lord, but is always ready to share the fate of the master, ready to get slain before the master. Have you ever heard any other Julius Caesar saying "Et tu, Brute?" (You too, Brutus?) to his dog named Brutus.
Sacrifice
Not all sacrifices were sung enough? Kalpana Chawla we all know, but how many of us have heard about Laika, a Soviet space dog who was the first animal in space, the first to orbit the Earth and to die for it? Are dogs not protecting our houses and fields much better than a medieval Knight protected the castle?
Selflessness
Despite being very attentive to human feelings and needs, dogs have never asked anything in return for the work they have done and the love they have shown, just a pat on the head. They are doing the duty for the sake of duty, and showing love for the sake of love. From the last few decades, defense forces are rewarding military dogs for the medical help and other signaling work they have done at the war front. But this selfless soldier never had any such aspirations or expectations. Have you seen any dog asking for the Nobel Peace prize for having resolved a conflict between two sworn enemies?
Here the intention is not to glorify what our selfless friends have done and are still doing; they don’t care about being glorified; they are already very satisfied with chew toys and some affection. The point is to reflect:
Do these values still matter to us? Do we even consider friendship important anymore?
As humans we can control and launch a mission to Mars, can easily control a Supersonic aircraft but cannot control our own heart, throbbing with anger and despair. A real friend can easily calm down your racing heart; this is the power of friendship.
For me, friendship is important and to develop a strong friendship I need some deeper values. You may choose to search for your own values. But while you're searching, look down. That wagging tail beside you may already have them.
वो पुरानी बातें
Nidhi Agarwal (Gurugram)
सुकून के कुछ पलों में , पुराना कुछ याद आया ख्यालों में
वह दोस्ती मासूमियत भरी, वह दोस्ती विश्वास से बनी
वह आपस में मिलना मिलना, वह दुख में अपनी तकलीफ बताना
पर अब कहां मिलती है ऐसी दोस्ती, नहीं रही अब दोस्तों में पहली सी संगति
जिसे देखो सोशल मीडिया में व्यस्त है,
चैटिंग और इमोजी भेजना कनेक्ट रहने का नया मंत्र है
ऑनलाइन के जमाने में स्क्रीन और नेट से है बंधे हम
नहीं रहा वह अपनों में, अपना सा अपनापन
पास बैठ के अब गुफ्तगू नहीं होती,
अपना अनमोल समय दे इसकी जरूरत महसूस नहीं होती
100 लोगो की फ्रेंड लिस्ट पाकर भी खुद को अकेला पाया
आत्मीयता का यह नया अंदाज अब सभी ने अपनाया
इस सोशल मीडिया के युग में आज फिर ख्याल आया
हर दिन फ्रेंडशिप डे बनाते थे, हम
साधन थे कम पर साथियों के साथ खूब खिल खिलाते थे हम
काश दुनिया कुछ बदल जाए, वो पुराना वक़्त वापस लौट आए।
ऑनलाइन मैसेज न हों, बस आमने-सामने बातें हों।
Friendship Quiz
Sudama
Inseparable during their childhood, Krishna and Sudama’s story emphasizes – that friendship surpasses economic status, that true wealth lies in richness of relationships and how to genuinely be affectionate and accepting of each other.
Josephine MacLeod (1858 – 1949)
Wealthy American lady of high society, the closest of all his American devotees and perhaps the greatest benefactress of the Order. Called herself “Friend of Swami Vivekananda”.
Raja Ajit Singh of Khetri (1861-1901)
Ruler of the small state of Khetri in Rajasthan. Swami Vivekananda considered Raja Ajit Singh to be one of his closest friends. It was Raja Ajit Singh who suggested the name ‘Vivekananda’ to Narendranath Dutta before his journey to the Parliament of Religions, a name that would endure through eternity.
Krishna and Arjuna
Krishna was Arjuna's friend, philosopher, guide and mentor. Their dialogue on the battlefield of Kurukshetra is immortalized in the Bhagavad Gita.
