Self-respect, self confidence, self-esteem - so many interchangeable words but the core idea underlying each of them remains the same, that of an undying belief in our real self, the core of our being that is capable of "anything and everything", the source of our existence and the reason for our happiness, that which we call self-belief or atmashraddha (आत्मश्रद्धा). This blogpost contains articles on self-belief where contributors have expressed what they mean when they speak of this belief in themselves and how it has expressed itself in their lives whether as confidence to do something, respect to take an action for oneself or simply love of this existence.
Vanity is Fair
- Ujay (Delhi/Mumbai)
Professional Fashion Model. This is my job title. My job is to look for jobs every single day. Attend five to ten fittings/auditions in a week and I might crack one or two. As a model already in his 30's and up against hundreds of other candidates, usually a decade younger, mostly of Russian, European descent, the competition is tough and rejection hurtful. Especially when it is your bread and butter. Negative criticism from photographers and directors about how you look during shoots is another story. To be employable, I have to ask myself certain questions daily. Do I look lean and muscular enough? Is my skin glowing enough? Is my hair shiny enough? Are my teeth white enough? And believe me, it is never enough. Given that there is no employment in the business of fashion modelling in the absence of an affirmative to the above, in my profession, vanity is fair!
Cut to me at a beautiful beach in the picturesque Seychelles, Africa a few weeks ago with a friend from a corporate background. He asks me to click a picture as he poses on a rock in his fancy beachwear. I click, he checks. He is not pleased. He then asks me to click another five to six. Except he doesn’t move at all. Maybe a few micro-millimeters. I click another six, inspite of my irritation levels rising. Sire checks. Not pleased. “Click a couple more”, he says. Now he makes an effort to do a half smile, exhale every ounce of air from his lungs till his tummy looks, well, strangely flat. He flexes his biceps. He growls under his breath for me to “quickly click!”. He’s holding his breath after all. End result? He is not pleased. And I walk off.
To look physically beautiful in a picture is great. But, is that your goal? Instead of trying to look like that influencer, finding and portraying your own Self would create a much stronger connection with a viewer, than the connection created with mere vanity as its foundation.
Self-Belief - The journey continues…
- Govind Bisht (Faridabad)
It all began when I started reading about Swami Vivekananda.
It took me six months to complete his biography. The beginning felt distant, but the last 50 pages stirred something deep within me. It felt like Swami-ji was speaking directly to the youth—to me—asking, “What are you doing with your life?”
I joined Ramakrishna Mission, Gurugram (then the Delhi Centre), in January 2020, just before the COVID wave. On my very first day, the Revered Secretary Maharaj entrusted me with responsibilities in the Northeast—and that’s when the real journey began. Since then, I’ve walked through the floods of Assam, the humidity of Barak Valley, the rains of Meghalaya, and the heat of Uttar Pradesh. I’ve missed meals, waited for buses that never came, shared cabs, faced landslides, and dealt with tough living conditions. Many times, it felt like nature was testing me, asking, “Will you give up now?”
Honestly, I almost did—more than once. There were moments when I doubted everything, thinking my efforts weren’t showing any results. But each time I paused to reflect, something within reminded me to keep going. As Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward.” And looking back today, the picture slowly begins to make sense. From Resource Person to Zonal Lead to Program Implementation Lead—what matters most isn’t the title, but the inner transformation. I’ve become more grounded, more patient, more human.
I now realise this journey is far from over. There are still many more layers of life to explore. And for that, I need faith in the process, patience in the everyday, perseverance in my actions, purity in thought—and the freedom to just be. Swami Vivekananda believed in the infinite potential within each of us. Gradually, step by step, I am also learning to trust in that inner strength.
Deep gratitude to Revered Swami Shantatmananda Ji, to my patient and wonderful mentors at VIVA and all my teammates who’ve walked this path with me.
आत्मविश्वास
- Shilpi Sharma (Gurugram)
आत्मविश्वास बनाम अहंकार
- Dharmendra Pandey (Delhi)
आत्मविश्वास का अर्थ है स्वयं पर विश्वास। अंग्रेजी में इसे बताने के लिए हम सेल्फ बिलीफ, सेल्फ रेस्पेक्ट, सेल्फ एस्टीम जैसे कई शब्दों का प्रयोग करते हैं। इन सभी शब्दों को हिंदी भाषा में यदि एक ही शब्द से अभिव्यक्ति देनी हो तो हम इसे आत्मश्रद्धा कह सकते हैं।
स्वामी विवेकानंद ने कहा कि हर मनुष्य संभावित रूप से दिव्य है और जीवन का लक्ष्य है इसी दिव्यता को प्रकट करना अगर सरल शब्दों में कहा जाए तो आत्मविश्वास स्वयं के प्रति एक आश्वस्तता है कि हम जीवन की किसी भी चुनौती का सामना कर सकते हैं, या हम जो भी करते हैं उसे और बेहतर बना सकते हैं,, जो भी हम ठान लें उसे पूरा कर सकते हैं । पर यह मात्र आश्वासन ही रह जाएगा यदि हम इस आत्मविश्वास को मूर्त रूप देने के लिए कुछ न करें। जैसे घर में बिजली है या नहीं ये पता लगाने के लिए हमें बत्ती या पंखे का बटन दबाना पड़ता है वैसे ही जब तक हम किसी काम को करने के लिए उठेंगे नहीं, कैसे पता चलेगा कि हम उस कार्य को कर भी सकते हैं या नहीं। एक बात और। जब हम स्वयं पर श्रद्धा रखते हैं तभी हम दूसरों पर भी उतनी ही श्रद्धा रखेंगे जितनी कि स्वयं पर।
पर हम आत्मश्रद्धा को अहंकार समझने की भूल नहीं कर सकते। अहंकार का अर्थ है अहम् + कार = स्वयं को ही कर्ता मानाने वाला, स्वयं को महत्व देने वाला, स्वयं को बलशाली व औरों को हीन मानने वाला। अहंकारी व्यक्ति अपनी पहचान 'मैं क्या हूँ' से नहीं बल्कि 'मेरे पास क्या है से बनाता है' और दुर्भाग्यवश स्वयं को नहीं जान पाता ।
Moments in Life I have shown Self-Respect
Shobha Menon from Ernakulam says,
I have memories of a feeling of self-respect from the time I was a child whenever I achieved something. And this is the way I defined “self-respect” throughout most of my life. But something changed after I began visiting Ramakrishna Mission, started reading the books published by the Mission, joined the Awakened Citizenship Program and perhaps even because I’m much older now. For me, I feel my self-respect growing when I’m able to do something for others – and I also see that the self-respect I feel for myself is also there in so many other people I meet from all walks of life.
Indrani from Varanasi says,
I was staying in the college hostel during a group project. The project had to be submitted the next day, so we all planned to work on it together that night. But when the time came, everyone went to sleep, thinking I would do everything. I was left alone to finish the entire project. I stayed up till midnight, tired and stressed, but I kept working because I cared about the team and our marks. The next morning, no one asked how I felt or offered any help. They just praised the work and gave me the next task. Slowly, this became a pattern. I was no longer treated like a teammate, but like someone who would always say yes.
One day, I decided to say no. It was difficult, but I knew it was right. That day, I learned some important values. I learned that teamwork means sharing both effort and responsibility. I understood that helping others is good, but not at the cost of your own respect. I realised that setting boundaries is not selfish—it is necessary. And most of all, I learned that self-respect is the foundation of true confidence. Since then, I remind myself: saying “no” doesn’t make me rude. It means I value myself. And that is a value I will never forget.
Bharani from Hyderabad says,
There was a time when my character and integrity were questioned based on hearsay, not truth. What hurt most was that it came from someone I held in a high esteem. It shook me deeply. But I chose not to respond in anger or self-defence. Instead, I stood by my truth, with quiet strength and dignity. That experience taught me that self-respect sometimes means walking through pain without losing yourself—and believing in who you are, even when others don’t.
One message woven in the fabric of time – Self-esteem!
- Neha Phull (Bangalore)
Swami Vivekananda proclaimed, “All search is vain, until we begin to perceive that knowledge is within ourselves, that no one can help us, that we must help ourselves.” - CWSV Vol 1 p.258
Nathaniel Brandon introduces self-esteem to the readers thus: “The stability we cannot find in the world we must create within our own persons.” – Pg-XI
Swami Vivekananda: “The glory of man is that he is a thinking being.”- CWSV Vol 2 p.336
Nathaniel Brandon: “If I trust my mind and judgement, I am more likely to operate as a thinking being.” Pg – 4
Swami Vivekananda: “Whatever you believe, that you will be.”- CWSV Vol 3 p.284
Nathaniel Brandon; “Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves.” Pg-XV And, “the belief that they are powerless becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.” Pg-XVII
Swami Vivekananda: “Without expression, how can we live?” - CWSV Vol 3 p.441
Nathaniel Brandon: “Our purpose is self-expression…not to prove, ...but to live our possibilities.”
These are just a few statements that show the alignment in the message of self-esteem, self-belief, and self-expression that comes out of their work in the world. Dr. Brandon goes on to list down what he believes, through his experience, are the six fundamental practices of self-esteem:
‘Practice of living consciously, Practice of self-acceptance, Practice of self-responsibility, Practice of self-assertiveness, Practice of living purposefully & Practice of personal integrity.’
He discusses in detail in his book how these practices build the self-esteem of a person, the significance of the practices with examples and the ways of adopting each practice, depicting the interconnectedness of them all.
The point to note here is this: these sayings, teachings, practices, etc., are of no avail if they do not become a manifested reality for us. We can be inspired by these voices around us, however, the assimilation of these ideas and making an effort to manifest these in our lives is left to us. Self-esteem is not a ‘good to have’ lofty principle that we can think about at our time of leisure. It is the very soul of our being woven into the fabric of our lives. A healthy self-esteem is the very inheritance of man, waiting to be claimed.
Quiz on self-respect. Tell us whether the person in the situation shows self-respect
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Do you find it challenging to accept yourself?
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Does the concept of self-respect sound daunting?
